Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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