But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
