I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
