Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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