so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
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i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Help. Why am I so naked?
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