I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
