I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
