You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
