Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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