the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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