I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
