you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
