At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
