i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
