i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
