you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize