I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
