so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
