We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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