I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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