I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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