Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
