some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
