So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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