i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
