The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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