I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
