He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
wow bdsm is so cute
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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