I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
