I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
