I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he shaved USA in his pubs
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
