no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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