I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your cock deserves a montage
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
