that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
