True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
