Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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