idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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