I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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