Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
