Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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