How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So apparently I’m into choking now
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