2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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