Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
