I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
