my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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