just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
