i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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