she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
