Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
