I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize