can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
