If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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