You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
