Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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