At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize