3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love you. Go after that dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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