I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize