so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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