i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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