You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
