Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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