Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
