I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
