he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
