Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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