this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
